Lady Cat Lady

Recently, I began the process of trying to mend fences and rebuild those bridges that were abandoned by me many years ago, almost like a butterfly emerging from its cocoon. It’s gone very well—except with my sister, who wouldn’t talk to me up until the end of her life.

I don’t spend a lot of time talking about family here. I do that for one big reason: I want to protect my family. Their privacy? It means a lot to me. Mine? Well, given I’ve just written a memoir, I’m not as concerned. I’ve owned my past, accepted it as part of a version of me that exists in a different form today. I’ve learned and grown through the experiences I’ve had throughout my life.

Many years ago, I retreated. I withdrew into myself and didn’t reach out to my family except for a select few for far too long. I tried to convince myself I didn’t need them. Frankly, I’ve tried to convince myself of a lot of things that weren’t true over the years.

What you probably should know is I have one older brother who is still alive and one younger sister who died recently. Both my parents passed by the time I was 21. And I come from a rather large extended family full of aunts, uncles, and cousins whom I grew up alongside.

On my trip to Arizona for my sister’s funeral at the end of September, I spent time bonding with my niece. Her eldest son couldn’t come to the funeral.

That said, one of the reasons he couldn’t come was that they had already planned a trip to Orlando this month. I was able to have dinner with him and his family today, October 13. And, once again, folks, I couldn’t be a prouder aunt. What a wonderful man he’s become, with such heart and an incredible family.

I was excitedly anxious waiting for him at the restaurant. When I saw him, we hugged long and strong. The overwhelming love I have for him boomed from my heart as we embraced. I met his family, and bonded with them by the end of the evening.

I’d like to share something I said to him: “…It’s time for our family to heal. There’s been too much tragedy. Time for love and us to come together”

I text my aunts and niece all the time now. I enjoy having them in my life again, it’s all so precious to me, and I want to continue to allow these relationships to grow. I didn’t realize how much I missed it… them.

I learned a lot about myself through all of this. I’m stronger than I ever believed I was. I don’t believe I’ve ever given myself enough credit for all that I’ve overcome in life, in general. And, apparently, I’m some kind of a “boss babe” under extreme emotional pressure now. I was made for off road driving.

I may have lost a mother-in-law, sister, and nephew in a matter of months, but I gained so much more love in my life as a result of their deaths.

Not only does love come with loss, but it is also true that loss can come with love, if you allow it.

And that, my friends, is the bittersweet truth.

PS: Yes, I know I said the next post would be the backyard Farm Day. But this story needed to be told first.