Lady Cat Lady

There I sat reading A Court of Thorns and Fury, from the book series ACOTAR. The first one, A Court of Thorns of Roses was a fun read. This one is a slog, I’m struggling to get through it. Don’t come at me for reading fantasy romance, my niece sent me these books and I’ll be damned if I’m not going to read them so we can talk about them.

I was in my favorite chair, air conditioning whirring in the background, cats jumping around, playing. I could hear them, I was ignoring them. Even though that book…oh my gawd. Okay, I’ll stop sidetracking.

I heard a particularly loud thump and looked up from my book.

“Nick, Nick, Nick, Nick, Nick, Nick, Nick, Nick”, I was shrieking.

“I’m going to the bathroom,” he yelled.

“A rat, it’s a rat, those fuckers brought me a rat”. My heart was racing.

Nick is now laughing.

“Is it dead?” he said with a chuckle.

“Yes, and I know it’s a present. They can keep their stupid presents.”

My eyes were closed, body tense, and my toes were even curled as he walked into my room.

“It’s a bigun’. What are you doing?” laughing at my posture.

“I don’t want to see it”

“But your children love you.”

“Fuck ’em”. Now I was laughing.

“Which one of you chaos minions brought this to her?”

“Don’t you mean demons? It was the mighty mighty hunter, Zelensky” I chimed in.

“Of course” he said as he picked up the rat with one of those extender reach things.

“Just get it out of here”

“I wonder when he brought it in, I closed the cat door twenty minutes ago when it got dark.” he asked.

“I don’t know, I was reading”

“And, not paying attention to your babies, that explains it.”

We both laughed as he carried that hideous thing out of the house.

And, dear readers, I hope I’ve made you laugh too.

Happy Caturday, and may your field of vision be free from dead rats!